Ah Long Pte Ltd

I saw a very interesting sign board tied up to the road sign near my house, the road sign reads: "Kami bukan Ah Long, Kami cuma nak Tolong! 012xxxxxxx" Wow! In Malay, it means: - "We are not Ah Long (Loan Sharks), we just want to HELP! 012xxxxxxx"

Hmmm... I was wondering do they get the inspiration from the Singaporean movie, 'Ah Long Pte. Ltd.", or one of the 'Board of Directors' in Ah Long Pte. Ltd. enrolled in MBA courses and came out with this idea. Do you feel their 'sincerity'? Imagine you are in financial deep shit, you have no choice but to call up the 'Licensed Money lender", okay, the word "Licensed" is a bit tricky here; I doubt they mean you just pay a small amount of secretarial fees and registered a company, and you claimed yourself 'licensed'? You trained a few assasins or thugs and you can also get it 'licensed' in such a case.
Ok, back to the scenario that you called Ah Long for help, just imagine this, how Ah Long became more professional and commercialized than before...

Let say I am a 'Account Manager' from Ah Long Pte. Ltd. I got your call (24/7 on-call service), you wipped on the phone and you 'share' with me about your problems (willing to listen skill). I spent at least half an hour listening to your problem (understanding customer's requirement) so you can feel better after shooting out your hardship. I told you to calm down, and set up the meeting time for you (Set up appointment). When I sees you, you continue to cry, I put my left hand on my heart and my right hand on your heart and tell you 'I feel you bro/gurl"(to shows concern and caring), or if this is ain't enough, I even lend you a should to cry on like what Tommy Page was singing back then.

After that, I need to explain to you that you have to solve this urgently (creating a sense of urgency for client), I did a analyze of the situation for you, the risk and explain to you that you need X amount of money to solve your problem. (Business Analyst + Consultation) Then I propose you a 'Financial plan' (End to End solution or 'One-Dragon-Service'), did a simple mathematic calculation and propose it to you. Then, I helped you fill up the paperwork, takes some photos of you, your ATM card, your password, your IC, wa la... it is all DONE! (Some basics on A-B-C, mathematics and photography skill will do).

Once document is signed (Contract handshake).Check is ready for pick up or we even hand deliver it to you in not more than 48 hours depends on your urgency (Free door-to-door services), if you got a very good looking over 18 but less than 21 y/o daughter, you might get yourself a instant approval! Well, I think that is much of Ah Long's standard operating procedure I guess. Can you see how 'professional' an Ah Long company can be? I think from time to time, they have 'evolved', they started to think of 'Marketing Positioning'. Their name was so bad and the local newspaper gave them a very bad impression. So they have to 'rebrand' themselves, more like a partner that they can solve your problem, offer you a extra cash to roll when you really needed help.

Anyway, I am quite pissed off with them when they hang up all those signs in my neighborhood, sometimes they even nailed it on trees. There is one night I actually bring a knife out and have all the signs cut off from the road signs, cuz it really annoys me!